FALLING THROUGH THE CRACKS : THE UNBELONGING OF A MISFIT

 


I firmly believe that deep down every person on the planet desires to be loved, unconditionally, and to belong somewhere. 


I have no academic qualification in the field of psychology and/or psychiatry, I am just a simple (albeit qualified) mathematician with extensive experience in UNBELONGING and MISFITTING.  I know what it is like to be patronized, rejected, side-lined, misunderstood, overlooked, manipulated, berated, betrayed, judged, criticized, mocked, slandered, defeated, overlooked, disrespected, abused, abandoned and controlled.  I am also intimately familiar with the pain of falling through the cracks as well as the suffering it brings when the pain from the resultant cuts, bruises and fractures persists.  I know what it feels like to have my heart ripped out of my chest and then bludgeoned and butchered into a bloody pulp-mess.  I know what it feels like to have invisible limbs ripped from my body which leaves me disabled and scarred.  Paralysing pain.  Indescribable.  Unspeakable.  INVISIBLE DISFIGUREMENT.


If I have to coin a definition for human SUFFERING, it will likely be something like this:

The state of experiencing all kinds of unrelenting, persistent pain. 

There exists no standardized test for it, which means that it cannot be definitively measured or fully understood.  If it cannot be measured, it cannot be quantified, and if it cannot be quantified, it cannot be studied and it cannot be classified.  And it, most definitely, CANNOT and SHOULD NOT be compared.


None of us, in this broken world, is exempt from pain and suffering.  I have no doubt that I am not alone in my own pain and suffering and that many of you, reading this, can identify with my words.  I have only recently made the transformation from UNBELONGING & MISFITTING expert to novice RedeemedPioneer, and I would like to share a few thoughts with those who can relate and want to change:

  • If it is NOT unconditional, it is NOT love at all.
  • Finding BELONGING is a liberating and blessed experience, not forced through desperation and/or manipulation.
  • Do not FOLLOW anyone who is not prepared to JOURNEY with you.
  • When things become complicated, it is often due to absence of truth.
  • Love and faith are ACTIONS, not DECLARATIONS, they grow limbs, roll up their sleeves and put on sneakers to WALK the TALK.
  • Steer clear from those who want to pray FOR you, but are not prepared to sit WITH you.
  • When you find BELONGING, you have the freedom to BE you, but also the responsibility to DO you.
  • True love SEES the invisible disfigurement and still goes on to passionately embrace with compassion.
  • Real BELONGING might not necessarily bring complete healing, but it will bring overwhelming wholeness.

 

I have the scars to remind me of where I came from, but I also have the love of amazing people in a tribe where I belong, to remind me of where I am going. 


Picture credit : Jennifer Trezise

Comments

  1. Maretha MAugust 17, 2023 at 3:32 PM

    Brilliant description of unbelonging & misfitting a] without understanding why OR b] on account of the fact that one is battling with ''what man has done to man, to me..'' Human suffering is indeed ''a state of experiencing all kinds of unrelenting, persistent pain.'' Which means that we are surrounded by suffering human beings and that we, too, are not exempt from pain and suffering. Please, Lord grant us both the spirit and the consolation of Christ!

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