FINALLY VAN ASWEGEN : BECOMING MR & MRS VAN ASWEGEN

The seven-year-old slammed the car door so violently that he attracted the attention of even the unsuspecting pedestrian passers by in the road outside the gate.  They gawked in alarmed, stunned silence.  But the initial shock was soon replaced by expressions of distinct disapproval and even opiniated under-breath mumblings, sufficiently audible to the little ears of a little boy with a giant broken heart.  THAT LITTLE BRAT NEEDS A GOOD THUMPING!  People are programmed to be inconsiderate, insensitive and indifferent individuals.  At school, this boisterous little boy was relentlessly dismissed, mocked, bullied and berated and, deep inside him, it bred a bold belligerence to compensate for and protect his broken heart.  The young mom of four did not thump her son that day.  Instead, she took him to her bedroom where she minimised all the overbearing stimulation, put on his favourite music and allowed him to unwind in a safe space.  Instinctively she knew exactly what to do on that day, but it would take her decades to fully understand the God-inspired psychology behind it.

The two women sit on patio chairs under the lapa next to the swimming pool.  They are engaged in deep conversation.  The nineteen-year-old second-year nursing student and the middle-aged mother of her new boyfriend.  With her pure, youthful gentleness, the younger woman had already crawled into the compassionate heart of the older woman, but when the older woman speaks, it is with a heavy heart.  Only 75m from where they sit, she can see the front gate, just past the house.  The same gate where, years ago, the broken-hearted, belligerent little boy was indirectly berated by ignorant passers by.  The little boy grew up and is now a strapping, charming young man.  Her beloved son, the one with the giant, exceptionally tender heart.  The one who still gets his heart broken far too often and, now more than ever, needs a secure safe space to cool down after a meltdown.  The one who has outgrown her safe mommy space and now has an almost unbearably hard time transitioning to his own adult safe space.  Her heart is heavy, because on the one hand she adores the pure beauty of their growing young love and on the other hand, she fears that his current tumultuous transition might devour the beauty and leave two young hearts disillusioned and shattered.  Every molecule in her own tender motherheart wants this young woman to be her son’s significant other, because in just the last few months, she has managed to restore brilliant radiance to the delightful bright colours of her son’s unique personality.  But this young woman faces another almost three years of full time, undergraduate university studies before she will qualify as a professional nurse.  Thereafter, for a compulsory community service period of 12 months, she will be required to care for sick people in some rural South African hospital while on her feet for 12-hour shifts.  With tears welling up in her eyes, the older woman voices her inner emotionally-charged conflicting concerns with the younger woman.  Deep inside her heart she prays that, despite the impending full hands and tired feet, the Lord will bless this young woman with everything she needs to receive two specific desires of her heart - success and love.  

The large grey-haired, bearded man is instantly filled with awe, wonder and pride.  His eyes are fixed ahead to where his only daughter just emerged from a private dressing room.  His baby girl, once dressed in pink princess dresses with frills and bows, now a beautiful young woman dressed in an exquisite wedding gown.  With unashamed vulnerability, he dabs away the tears running down his face without even a single interruption to his fixed gaze.  He can still remember her tiny little hands cupping his face.  I LOVE YOU, DADDY!  He can still remember tucking her in at night, having to first find her among an impressive collection of pets and soft toys before he could plant a kiss on her forehead.  He can still remember the tea parties she hosted, the dodgy, unknown substance in the tiny teacups, and how he had to down it really fast.  He did not want to disappoint the pretty princess in pink, his little princess.  In just a few short hours, he will walk her down the aisle and then, with his blessing, watch her make a life-long commitment to a young man with whom she had already chosen to spend the rest of her life with.  He never really ever knew exactly what was inside those tiny teacups, but he has always known exactly how to look out for his little girl.  Today’s cups will be delicate, crystal champagne flutes and he knows exactly what will be inside.  However, having to trust his grown daughter’s young husband to look out for her from now on, is something he will have to figure out, because like the content of the tiny teacups, it is unknown to him now.  Next to him is his beloved wife of 32 years, his co-captain with impressive precision steadiness and piercing, unwavering love which has served to ground him and their family through many devastating life storms.  Her calm demeanour is warm and inviting.  Her eyes radiate compassion and her smile lights up even the gloomiest of souls.  She is the mother of the bride.  A woman of valour and strength, of depth and dignity, of elegance and poise.

 

JACK, I PROMISE TO ALWAYS SECURE A SAFE SPACE FOR YOU IN OUR HOME!  MEGAN, I PROMISE TO MASSAGE YOUR TIRED FEET EVERY NIGHT!  There is not a single dry eye in the fairytale forest of the wedding venue on the East Coast when the beautiful bride and gallant groom promise eternal commitment to each other in their very own words.  Five years ago (to the day, exactly), Jack asked Megan to be his girlfriend and she said YES.  Today, they are Mr Jack and Mrs Megan van Aswegen.  Mrs Van Aswegen (senior), Jack’s mom, cries unashamedly with her heart filled with gratitude and love.  And, like that day under the lapa with Megan, she prays inside her heart.  DEAR LORD, THANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL EVENT.  THANK YOU FOR MY DAUGHTER-IN-LOVE, THAT SHE COMPLETES MY SON AND THAT SHE SECURES A SAFE SPACE FOR HIM.  THANK YOU FOR MY SON’S COMMITMENT TO HONOUR HER HARD-EARNED SUCCESS, TO COMFORT HER WHEN SHE’S TIRED, PARTNER WITH HER AND PROTECT HER.  AND LORD, THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE OF MY OWN BELOVED HUSBAND OF ALMOST 32 YEARS, THE HEART-STOPPINGLY ATTRACTIVE SILVER-HAIRED MAN IN THE TUXEDO!  Tender tears kept flowing throughout the touching event.  At the reception, Megan and her dad danced to Post Malone’s YOURS and Jack and his mom danced to Phil Collins’ YOU’LL BE IN MY HEART.  Megan intentionally broke protocol and decided to not toss her bridal bouquet to all the single ladies.  Instead, in a short, touching speech, she chose to give thanks and honour her mother.  She then handed her bouquet to her mother and the two of them remained in a tender embrace while all eyes were on them and the DJ played YOU RAISE ME UP.  By far the very best wedding of 2024!

As matriarch, on behalf of my beloved AssieTribe, it is my greatest privilege and honour to welcome the endearingly-special Lottering family in our midst as the newest official members of the extended AssieTribe.  Peter & Debbie, I can honestly say that I liked you from the day we met years ago, but the touching inclusivity of the togetherness of our shared wedding weekend, turned the LIKE into LOVE.  You and your whole family embraced my AssieTribe with unconditional acceptance and showered us with warm hospitality, thank you so very much! Megan has become my unofficial daughter-in-love a long time ago, but now it is official, and while you now have a son-in-love, we have also become family-in-love.  Thank you, Lord, for the incredible blessing of family and authentic, unconditional love.